Monday, March 9, 2015

What is a Kind Husband?

I read this recent post on the Desiring God Blog.  My first thought was what would most husbands honestly have to say after reading this?  "Honestly have to say?"
I thought it a great truth when I read it, never really looked at it from this perspective.  The problem with great truths, if one reads it and knows it as truth but does nothing with this truth.....well, it's the same is those who claim to be Christians on Sundays but not the other 6 days of the week. To live the truth in front of others, but not out of ear shot or sight of them. By not living the life you speak of....well as you will read it puts a bad light on ones view of Christ!

Obviously this isn't to say this occurs just with husbands, this article is just husband specific....wives, we are to live in a specific way toward our husbands as well.  The article just happens to address what a kind husband looks like.....Of course I hope husbands will read this, and yes, live it's truths. Wives, don't get on a soap box over this :-) A good reminder that when we point a finger at someone, there are three pointing back at ourselves.

I think this article is important enough to share and I hope you will share it yourself!

What Is a Kind Husband?

Five Characteristics of True Kindness

What Is a Kind Husband?
We find many husbands in the Bible, but not many stand out as ideal.
One of the men who does stand out is Boaz. Throughout the book of Ruth, he stands out as a model of what a husband as a husband should be. He is a godly and considerate employer (Ruth 2:4). His kindness toward Ruth is clear and well-marked before he thinks of himself as a possible husband to her. His character as a godly husband comes out in his kindness in assuming the role of kinsman-redeemer for Ruth. So the next time you read through the book of Ruth, think of the kindness of this husband.
What do unkind husbands do? Among other things, they preach heresy in the living room. Paul tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). This is not given as simply a nice illustration. A husband is the head of his wife the same way Christ is the head of the Church (Ephesians 5:23). This means that husbands are speaking all day every day about what Christ thinks of the Church. And because such speaking is inescapable, they are either telling the truth or they are lying. No husband has the option of silence.

The Lies of Mistreatment

And unfortunately, while all mistreatment is a lie, more than one lie is possible. For example, what lie is being told by bitter husbands? Paul tells husbands not to be bitter against their wives (Colossians 3:19). But some men think that they have been provoked enough that resentment is their only option. What is the lie? The lie is that Christ has a lousy attitude whenever he is provoked, which we would think must be all the time.
Another lie is told by a lustful husband. Some men think that a straying eye is only natural. What is the lie? The lie is that Christ is an adulterer, that he is unfaithful to his bride.
Then there is the lie told by limp husbands. Some men provide no leadership for their wives. What is the lie? The lie is that Christ is a loser and a wimp. That this is fairly common in our day is not surprising, given the doctrine of Christ that is held by many.
Last, proud husbands tell another lie. Some men have contempt for the abilities of women, including their wives and daughters. What is the lie? They are saying that Christ despises his Church, making fun of it whenever he gets the chance.

Five Characteristics of a Kind Husband

So what is a kind husband? As we see the ideal of a husband’s kindness displayed by Boaz, we also should fill out our understanding of that kindness from the teaching of the Bible elsewhere. We are perhaps too accustomed to the phraseology of the Pauline command to love our wives, and so it might help us to think of this central duty in terms of kindness.
First, a kind husband is incomplete. God created man in his image, male and female created he them (Genesis 1:27). A man and his wife become one flesh (Genesis 2:24), which indicates the intimacy of sexual union (2 Corinthians 6:16). Apart from the intervention of God with the gift of celibacy, it is not good that man should be alone (Genesis 2:18). True male confidence therefore operates within the context of mutual kindnesses. “Confidence” that in any way hints, indicates, or says to a wife that “I don't need you” is not real confidence at all, but mere arrogant bluster. Men who build themselves up by tearing down their wives are following the “wisdom” of hell. A husband is kind to the one who completes him.
Second, a kind husband is a lover. The ideal here is the lover portrayed in the Song of Songs. He is ardent, devoted, strong, and sexually confident. But remember the first point; this confidence is not in himself, but rather in his ability to fulfill his appointed role, which is only half of what must be done. Too often we forget what the Bible commands (Proverbs 5:15–19). A husband is kind to his beloved.
A kind husband is a provider. A man who does not provide for his household is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8). Since his wife is the most important member of his household, he has a profound obligation to provide for her. Specifically, he provides her with food, clothing, and conjugal rights (Exodus 21:10). A husband is kind to the one who is dependent upon him.
Fourth, a kind husband is a nurturer. A Christian husband is called to nourish and cherish (Ephesians 5:29). In this sense, a lack of tenderness, where appropriate, shows a lack of masculinity. A husband is kind to the object of his kindness.
And last, a husband is a kinsman-redeemer. A husband is close to his wife; she is his sister, his bride (Song 5:1). In a very real sense, he models for her the idea of savior and redeemer (Ephesians 5:25–26). What husband is sufficient for such things? Not one, but we live and love by grace. A husband is kind to his sister, the one he brings to himself.

Believer or not, imagine marriages with husbands such as this?
Now to find the article on wives :-) I'm in search mode!

It's what echos from my heart today....

It's what echos from my heart today................................


  1. This was SUCH a good article! Loved it. And it is just soo timely. I am teaching a group of young women and moms and I am focusing some of their roles as women. I realize this is about the men (I will be watching to see if you find the one for women) but some of them are totally lost on what either one of their roles should look like. Plus, we are about to take these same young women and their husbands and teach on marriage. It's just SOOO important, and I think soo necessary to be taught to all men and women, but especially those just starting out. My husband and I were fortunate enough to be mentored by a Godly couple when we were first saved whose ministry was marriage counciling and teaching, and learned right from the beginning the way God intended it to be. My hubby is soo an example of this kind of a man that I feel blessed more then you can imagine. I am afraid I fall short of my responsibilities but this is encouraging to me to look more deeply into my roles too. Thanks for sharing all this! Have a good week!

  2. Such a good read. I think its sad that it seems rare to find a 'good' husband - one who is kind. There are so many out there. Us ladies that are blessed with them, we're one bunch of lucky ladies!

  3. A really great post, Debi! I think it's wonderful when God puts together couples who live by His word. A blessing, really.


  4. What a beautiful post. This really expands the picture of a kind husband. I'm so grateful for my good and kind husband here on earth and my heavenly Bridegroom, Jesus.

    Wishing you a lovely day, Debi.....