Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Good in Being Sick

Is there good in being sick?

Sinus headache, muscle aches, nausea, 
body aches, fever, sore throat, earaches,
That about covers my last seven days.

Well first off, the bad, its the obvious.
Being sick stinks!
You are unable to do the normal routine,
it's hard to just sit or lay when you are generally in some form
of motion.
There is pain involved, real pain....
Ever feel like you've been run over by a truck?
Body aches.
Face hurts, teeth hurt, yes hurt...
really it hurts!

So whats so good about being sick?

Memories of childhood that I've never forgotten.
If ever I'm feeling poorly I am reminded......
Having a really high fever and my Dad arriving home late in the 
He came into my room to check on me,
only to leave and return with a bowl of orange sections.
Can I tell you to this day I remember the juiciness and coolness 
of every piece?  
The love behind each bite....I was so thankful in that moment.
My sweet  Dad...

I have memories of several years in a row my Mom and I having 
the flu at the same time and me laying in bed with her.....
just being in a parents bed always felt good.
We took care of each other
and it wouldn't be the last time.

I had a great parental experience of my own 
when both my oldest son and myself  had strep throat.
It was a time where drool on
a pillow as opposed to swallowing was acceptable...
I also found 
 he thought I was a good Mom,
Well, one, because I asked him.  I wanted to know.
When he said yes, I asked why he felt that....
 "I didn't let him talk to me disrespectfully as one of 
his friends did to his Mom ".
It gave me confidence to know I was doing something right with my kids.
I can be the "mean Mom" and they'd still love me :-)
Doing the right thing wasn't easy and  I knew he didn't need a friend
he needed a Mom.

I have always had difficulty in letting others help me out when I'm ill
or just down right need help.
A few years ago I had back surgery.
A few of my sweet friends from church organized meals for me and Bob.
A couple of them knew how I felt about help, however they told me
 it was going to happen!
Besides the wonderful meals that were provided,
I realized just how incredible these friends of mine are.

How truly beautiful the friendship of women can be.

How sometimes its a blessing, to allow others to bless you!

yes, there is good in being sick.
As there is good in being on the mend :-)

Finding the good while in the muck !
It's what echos in my heart today......

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Post a Note ~

Stopped a moment to think,
what was I whining about last?
What was the latest,
poor me?

Why does it often take events such
as the devastation in Oklahoma
to get me to stand a little more
at attention daily.
Too take note!

Life is precious,
someone I love could be taken from
me in an instant.
It doesn't always happen to someone else.

I do purpose daily to be 
thankful for what I have.
I do value life, 
mine and the lives of those I love.
It's not enough.
Is it possible to create the habit of
thinking less about the stuff that whirls
around our paths daily
more about that which I value,
love and cherish the most?

Tragedy makes us me focus
on what's good.
 takes my mind off the truly
small things
complain, wine,
worry about.

In the big picture it's those very things, 
 really aren't worth the time I give them.

I'm going to attempt to 
remind myself of those who have lost
someone they loved.
Those who have no home to return to,
I can't imagine the shock of that, and where
do you begin to begin again?

Last night,
they were rewinding the tape.
"What were our last words to each other "?
"Why didn't I ________"?
Trying to remember how it felt to hug them,
trying to remember their scent.
Purposly etching the face of the one no longer,
 in their mind. Must ensure that memory stays fresh.

How painful, yet that's what we I would do.
I've no doubt it's what they were doing, 
as they approached the first of many sleepless nights.

I'm thinking I will post a note to myself,
put it where
I can see it throughout the day.
It will read, like this......



I want to etch it in my minds eye,
to ensure I'm always, consciously aware,
that those I love are here for a given time.

Praying for Oklahoma

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

Taking note of what matters, it's what echos from my heart today....

Sunday, May 12, 2013

An Open Letter to Mom ~

The fragrant scent of these roses cover me in thoughts of Mom and Dad,
me the child, their child.

These three roses are from the bush Dad bought
and planted for me twenty-six years ago.
I thought it would be a fitting photo in memory of you both.
Do you remember their strong beautiful fragrance?


It was Mother's Day last year, your last breath as I held your tiny hand.
365 days and I'm still in a bit of disbelief that your really gone.
How I miss that little hand.
I so thought you would be returning here with me to recover, 
I still shake my head over how it all played out.
God had other plans.
I'm very thankful our last words spoken to each other were,
"I love you".
You adding, " I really do" to yours.

I suppose it's natural to feel it's never enough, 
 wanting the chance to say all that is on ones heart.
 The stuff you think of after the fact.
I know that I wish I'd said more to you,
 knowing it would never have been enough.

I take such comfort that you are in heaven with Dad, 
I can't imagine the joy and peace you now have.
I would never want you to leave that to be with us again,
but I miss you......
I love that I will be with you again,
 on the day God chooses me......

Much to my surprise our little Khloe, 
(whom I'm so glad was a part of your life for 10 months)
reminds me daily that you are still with me. 
I can't tell you how many people tell me how much she reminds them of you :-)  
Many of her expressions, her walk, her smile, her spunk and her love of fun are so you.
She even has your attitude and strong willed personality when she feels it's required :-)
Like you, she too makes friends wherever she goes.
You two would have made quite the pair to say the least!!

She loves me, like you did,
 just as I am.

Having her with me allows me to feel that you are still a part of my everyday.
It helps me more than anyone can imagine.


I remember a conversation with you when I was a young teen,
 asking you how long it took you to get over the pain of losing Grandma. 

Your response,
" not a day goes by that I don't think of my Mom and wish she were here". 

I have replayed that conversation so many times in the last year.

The family reunion is this summer in Montana, 
I just can't begin to imagine you not being there.
I find my heart clinging to Aunt Wilma and Aunt Marguerite, 
the last of Grandma's (Goldie Herndon's) children.
What  an incrediable family you, and therefore I, were born into.
I count myself as very, very lucky..
 very thankful God chose me to be a part of it.
Few people can say they were a part of such a family.
We were all for sure blessed!

I carry you and Dad in my heart always.
Often closing my eyes remembering life with
 you both
here with us,
wishing it to be real.
It seems as though this longing for you will never end.

You gave me life, you were the Mom,
my Mom.


Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish you were here.
I love you so, I really do..... 

You will echo from my heart everyday .