Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A Child is Born

The other day I was out to breakfast with my husband. As I sit across from him I notice a Grandmother holding a fairly new baby, "a boy" she says as she looks a me, "he's a month old". I watch the new Mother look across the table into the eyes of her baby boy and I try and I felt when my first was new, what did I think as I looked into his tiny little eyes.
I know I couldn't imagine that I could love as much and as big as I did this little baby that I had only known a short time. I was relieved he was healthy, I knew the joy he brought his Father and I as well as our families. He was the new big thing, the topic of every conversation, the reason to own a camera! I recall the excitement I felt to pick him up everyday, to kiss him at every opportunity, to hold him close and cause him to feel safe and secure.
As I looked at this young Mother and at her tiny son my thoughts went to what she is yet to learn about being a Mom. I think of the panic she will experience when his fever is 105 and she is waiting for it to be their turn in the emergency room. What she doesn't know is how hard it is to walk away from him that first day of school. She has no idea how her heart will melt with every treasure he brings home from school as he, full of pride tells her, "I made it just for you Mommy".
This new Mom doesn't know the pain she will feel when he isn't picked for the basketball team and all of his friends were. She doesn't think about the fact that one day a girl will break his heart and it will break his Mother's as well. She hasn't yet worried when he drives off without her in the car the first time,and think, will he make it home safe?...every time.. he leaves the house. This Mother will worry when she hears a siren and her son is five minutes late.
 I hope she will experience what it means for her son, regardless of his age, that he never hesitated to hug her in public :-)
This new Mother has yet to experience the pride in him when she sees him wearing a cap and gown. This Mother can't imagine her child could ever hurt her feelings and that generally when he does, she won't say a word.
What she doesn't know is how happy she will be when he marries the love of his life. What she doesn't know is how different it feels to be the Mother in Law and no longer just his Mom. This new Mother can't know is the joy that one day, she will be waiting for her son and his wife's baby to make her a Grandmother. A new baby she can hold and love, all the while knowing just how fast this baby will grow...she will think back and wish she had taken more time just being a mom herself. She will look at her son and his wife and she will know what lies ahead for them as parents.
This new Mother will one day have a greater respect for the love and happiness her own parents brought her. The sacrifices made for her, the pain they felt when she felt pain. She will then understand why her parents worried when she was late........and how they never stopped regardless of age.
I shared this with my husband and his first response was, "imagine what Mary would have felt had she known the purpose of her Son's birth, that He would one day die on a cross for the sins of the world".
I guess when A Child is Born we never really know what to expect beyond the next picture we take in yet another new outfit!

This is what Echo's from My Heart today.......

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Saturday, December 26, 2009

A Space to Fill

Since my Father went to be with the Lord I have an ever present feeling that there is such a large empty space in me. I have the promise I will see him again yet the space remains. My Father is the one I could turn to on most any issue in my life. I still speak to him in my thoughts and from time to time, I realize I'm speaking out loud. I occasionally pick up the phone to call him and realize that I can't.

I am learning to turn to God first, my heavenly Father. I have never actually touched Him but I can tell you I have felt His touch. It is He that will get me through this life and I am aware, only He is able to fill this empty space. It's a process that becomes more and more natural, to turn to God and not my Dad. When a painful or difficult event arises I still feel that it would be more bearable if my Father were here with me. The fact is my Father, God, is always with me and He will carry me through every difficulty that arises. He will take the emptiness and fill it with a Father's love, His.

I don't think I will ever stop missing my Dad, he really was the biggest part of me. But I know my God is bigger than anything I will come across in this world. I am learning that turning to Him is where I will find the love and comfort of my Father. Heavenly and otherwise.

This is what echos from my heart today.....

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Families Lost and Found

I recently started watching a program entitled "Find my Family". I am so touched by both the male and female leads of this program. Both of them are adopted themselves and both are a part of a program that reunites families that were separated through adoption. Every episode the emotion visible in them is so touching...they cry when the person searching tells of their desire to search for their parent or sibling. They cry when they tell the other, "your son (or daughter) have been searching for you." They cry again as they witness the emotion of that first hug shared by two family members for sometimes the very first time.

I can't help but be reminded how very fortunate I am to both know and have my family and extended family to love, even if experiencing a hurdle from time to time. As I watch this program I sit and think how much I would love to have "that job", reuniting people with their families. I can think of no greater gift than that of family.

In life, we can be out of sorts with a family member and have the option of having them in our lives or not. Once you have experienced that love, that first hug if you will....don't take for granted there will be an opportunity to reunite. Tomorrow is never promised.

This is what echos from my heart today......