Wednesday, April 11, 2012

My Energy, prayer.....

Finding it hard to believe we are in our fourth week of having my Mom with us.
I know that God has her with me for a number of reasons.
The obvious, I am the only sister that does not work outside the home, therefore it's
only fair, I don't have to miss any work.  This also means I have the time
to take her to Doctor appointments.

Another reason I believe she is here is that little Khloe brings life to her, 
they both light up when they see each other.

I trust she is here in order for her and myself to have conversation,
and to make that conversation count.

I'm not going to pretend this has been easy, because it hasn't.
 Only if you
have done so would you understand how difficult it is.
I love my Mother and she loves me....that doesn't make it effortless.

At the same time I'm aware of how blessed I am that I can care for her.
It is difficult to look at Mom and see the frail person she has become.
She was the tomboy type I never thought would become frail.

I am challenged daily.
Challenged to prepare healthy meals for her and the bigger challenge,
to get her to eat them.  
I'm trying to fatten her up before her surgery date.
I encourage her to sit out back in the sunshine daily 
(as I sit now listening to the rain)
I push her to walk daily to build some strength in order that 
she have the strength she will need in order to recover from bypass surgery.

I'm fearful if I'm not with her she may not watch her step. I stay with her when
she showers in hopes she doesn't fall.
I dry and attempt to style her hair,
can't help but think each time how things change.
I look as I dry her hair and she appears childlike to me,
I can't help but think each time that 
she used to stand over me putting my hair in pigtails. 
Or doing a horrible job trimming my bangs :-)
She tried to get them straight, and often did though they were
not very long at that point. 
Now a fond memory.

I see her frustration daily as she deals with her ever worsening memory.
I remind her it happens to all of us, myself included.
It's in my face daily that she has been living alone for four years now since
my Dad passed away.  How lonely that must feel you have no one at times.

Between her and Khloe I'm running a race from the minute I get up until at last
my head hits the pillow.  Boy, do I sleep good!

I'm hoping I can ask for prayer that I am given the energy to continue to do this daily,
and to do it in love.
Prayer that I can make this a special time with my Mom.
Prayer that I will have patience when I'm tempted to lose it.

Yesterday we finally received a surgery date for bypass, April 23rd.
There is a sense of relief for both her and us, her family, to at last have a date.

Mom has lost about 10 pounds since she moved away from here, the surgeon told
us yesterday it's not uncommon to lose 15 to 20 pounds after this surgery.
So please pray my attempt to fatten her up is a success!

I do try and keep up with you my blogging family when I think to log on.
  I'm sorry
if I don't get a chance to read daily and  communicate back to you.
I do miss that time with you.
Please feel email me a note if you have a prayer request I don't know about in my
absence from blogging.

Major hugs to each of you.....
those I love are what echo from my heart today........


  1. Debi,
    Your post today is beautiful and kind in the sense that it has me at the library with tears in my eyes. Not so long ago my older sister Gloria, and my sister Liz and then me and my other sister took turns caring for our mother who had dementia.
    The constant need to get her to eat. To help her shower, remind her of things.
    Yes the styling of hair reminded me of when I was a teenager and coming out of the bathroom and ready for school and she would look at me with a approving look as if everything was in place for me to start the day.
    I so miss my mom as she passed away on Aug 2009.
    The dependence that our folks holds at times is amazing as they become our wee lil ones for a while. Hugs and Prayers in getting through this time.


  2. I agree with Viola! And I know and understand exactly how you feel.....I've had the care of my mama both in my home and in the assisted living facility...your comment about the reversal is exactly how I've felt many times. Often when I leave her I feel as if I've left my baby.

    Your family and especially your mama are in my prayers as you travel this road. It is a hard road, but like you, I am honored to be the one who does it. Even so it's o.k. to be tired! Take care of you too!


  3. Debi
    You are such a good daughter. I don't know how you do it!
    I'll be praying for all the circumstances you mentioned.
    You will be so glad you had this time together someday.
    Hang in there, my friend.

  4. I completely understand your feelings, Debi, and what's going on. You have my prayers for strength, and patience. It's so difficult on you, yet you're one of the sweetest, bravest, best natured people I know.

    Big hugs, many prayers for you and your mama

    Love you lots.

  5. I will continue to pray for you and your extremely busy and tiring life right now. Sometimes the emotional takes it toll on us to, trying to tend to the many needs of so many. Oh, how I wish I could stop over and help you sometimes:)

  6. Praying for you to have strength for all you do! What a wonderful daughter and grandmother you are! They both are so fortunate to have you.

  7. Wow, a lot has happened with you since my last blog, Debi. I know how hard it is to care for a mom living with you as we took our mom into our home during the last 9 months of her life. It is SO much work, and yet you know to cherish the time you have with her because you don't know how long she'll be around. It sounds like your life is crazy busy, and yet you are doing something so awesome by caring for your mom. I pray ther her surgery went well on the 23rd, and that she will be healed and home soon.

    You make sure to take care of yourself also, k? Hugs to you!