Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A Place in Between ...

So, I've been on a blog hiatus since February and its been an experience.  Since my back surgery (which went well, thanks for the prayers) I've been somewhat limited as to what I can do...still!  I'm still on the B.L.T. restrictions....and I don't mean like, hold the mayo :-) No I mean restrictions of bending, lifting and twisting.  There are many points to be made but I'll just give you a few....1) no Bending - I wish I had kept a record of how many times in one day I dropped something, wanted something that was down in the land I could not go.  2) Lifting....nothing over 5 pounds - Well that rules out my purse, a laundry basket, a shopping bag and thank heaven my newest Grandchild doesn't arrive till the end of July or beginning of August!  Our little tacquito is a girl by the way :-)  3) Twisting - this occurs every time one tries to turn over in bed, reaches to turn a light on or off, twist the slightest to fasten a seat belt or turn in order to back out of a parking space.  Basically the upper body can not turn without the feet turning in unison.

It has been 7 weeks since my surgery and I am still in that place in between.  In between the bad back and the fully recovered back. Not knowing exactly how it all ends up until I get there.  It is a very slow healing process and with its limitations I have had to find ways to avoid going stir crazy, I've had nothing but time.  Sitting has been pretty limited which is why I didn't get on the computer much, spent the majority of the first month laying flat.  I generally would be the one to get up and clean something, or throw in a load of wash if I found myself getting bored.  For sometime reading was out, as I was on constant medication that caused me to sleep....a lot!

There are many ways one ends up in "a place in between".  Sometimes it's after the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a diagnosis, a divorce, a major move....well the list goes on.  Initially after each of the fore mentioned it's where we find ourselves....in between.  After the initial "incident", we are often in a place of darkness, a place lacking hope, a life suddenly out of balance, a place that lacks anything familiar.  Now, my in between is nothing as difficult as the examples I've shown.....sometimes, it was learning what to do during the in between when your on B.L.T. !

It's what we do in those in between times, that we realize our strengths, our creativity to change up a day, a new way to make it through another 24 hours. We may find we  have to map our way through life, for a time, a day at a time. We do what we have to do until we get to the place were going.  The fear we may experience often comes from the fact that we aren't sure where it is we are going to end up, let alone how we'll get there, will we ever get there at all.

The in between times for me are where I have made my greatest self discoveries, learned some invaluable life lessons, grown ever closer to God, who becomes more real in my life everyday....may it never stop.

Several women from my church organized eight days of meals for Bob and I following  my surgery.  Initially this was a very difficult gift for me to accept, help is just something I prefer to provide than receive.  It was such an incredible gift and it made me realize more than ever how very lucky I am to have so many incredible women in my life, women whose friendships I treasure.  One great friend would make us tea and sit at my bedside just to provide me conversation as I lay in bed day after day.  One day she sat and wrote out thank you notes for me as I dictated my words to her.  I can tell you, having meals prepared and delivered will never again be a problem accepting ....a girl could get used to it !

Having to rely on my husband, for almost everything and I do mean everything has been really hard for me. Having to interrupt whatever he happened to be doing in order for me to accomplish something was so frustrating for me.   I would try and think of any possible way I might be able to do something before having to give up and call for his help.  It is not in my character to sit or lay while work is being done around me.  Day after day I have watched Bob do the laundry, cook, clean, shop, drive me to Doctor appointments, take care of the yard and squeeze in a tiny amount of time for himself.....all the while taking care of my personal needs.  I've realized more than ever, there isn't much this man wouldn't do for me. Our marriage through this, in between time, has grown to a whole new beautiful place.

I have had a difficult time as have most of us, with the tragedy in Japan.  With nothing but time, I watched a lot of the reports coming out of Japan.  I am amazed at the strength of the Japanese people as they are now in a place in between.  The values, respect and honor they live with even while in their darkest place. When a reporter stated there had been no reports of looting....none, I was taken back.  Still I wonder as I did then, what did an entire country do right that many here in the states seemed to miss?  Really, I can think of many times in a disaster, natural or not...when looting occurred and I am ashamed it happened in my country. Take note of the behavior of the Japanese people and apply it!  I mean, they can stand in an organized line for food in a calm, civil manner when their world around them is in chaos, a life of complete uncertainty as far as their tomorrow ....really  in a place of "in between".

My friend Denise's daughter Charity and her  family who are in Japan, keep them in prayer :-)

All we know for sure while in the place of in between, is we are not where we were. Just because we can't see anything happening doesn't mean God isn't working in our lives. We always come out the other side ....it's taking it a day at a time, a faith that God knows where we are going to be and its always in our best interest.  We may get sick of the place we are now and its so easy to begin to complain rather than taking pause to realize, that even in the midst of it we are so blessed and it could always be worse.... The tragedy in Japan has put the smallest complaint for me into perspective....B.L.T. really isn't such a big deal.  Really debi, your bored, somewhat limited and frustrated?  I know where my family and friends are, my home is still standing, all of my needs are met.  I have the best of friends, a husband that loves me, a marriage that is stronger than ever, a new found example of human kind, in the people of Japan. We so often miss the journey and the good that's taking place while we are in the place in between. God is always growing us up, and refining us during these times. We can always look back on a life experience and more than likely see the good that came from it. Accept that it is not always going to be a comfortable place your at when you are flailing in a sea of the unknown, in that place in between. It's where He has us so that we might totally trust in Him.  It is not forever, it is not your final destination!

Believe His promises to hear and to answer those who wait patiently for Him.

Psalm 40: 1
I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. 

I am happy to be back with my blogging friends, one of the things I realized while in this place in between was how much I love the lives we share with each other through our blogs!  This is what echos in my heart today....


  1. Aw, Debi, I've missed you so much, and have wondered how you're doing. I'm so glad you're on the road to recovery, and can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. Praise God!!

    The situation in Japan is heartbreaking, yet like you I've noticed their reactions and it has been humbling to see. No looting, that is amazing and a lesson to our fellow countrymen and women.

    You take care, and thanks for catching us up! So happy you have such a wonderful husband, family and friends who have supported you during this difficult time!


  2. You couldn't have said anything that would have touched my heart more than that today. Thanks and glad you're better!

  3. Loved reading the "echos from your heart" this evening. Loved that you shared what you are really going through and how it feels for you to be doing so. I must say my visit here encouraged my heart in a special way. You are a beautiful lady with an inspiring way of being able to express yourself through writing. Me...I am so blessed in the reading of it all. Thank you! Now, I can be more specific in my prayers for you and your family. You are certainly missed in the blogging world.

  4. Hi Deb,
    I've thought often on how you were recuperating. I pray for the continuation of your recovery.

    God bless,