Father's Day ~

It's so strange to me that my sweet Dad has been gone five years now.

Still feeling so blessed that I had him in my life as long as I did.

I've had more people tell me they can't relate to the fact my Dad meant the world to me,

how much I loved and respected him,
that we had a great relationship.

I seriously grieve for those people who can't relate, 

sad for the daughters who have not experienced the kind of 

love and life I had with my Father.

More reason to count myself lucky, fortunate, blessed.....

A woman stood in the grocery line behind me, 

smiled and stated she almost forgot to get her Dad a Father's Day card.

She waved the card as she spoke.....

I smiled back and told her I wish my Dad was here so I could give him a card
this Father's Day.

As I left the checkout I looked back to her

 and felt the need to tell her, 

"make everyday count with your Dad".

I never missed a Father's Day with him....

I was so thankful for that fact,
when the first Father's Day without him
occurred....

 ~
Missing him today as I do everyday.
My Dad, my first love.........

Grateful I belonged to him.... love for my Dad, it's what echos from my heart today.....

Rocky Road , Not the Ice Cream ~

The hubstir had shoulder surgery two weeks ago.

Surgery,

on the day I was at the peak of body aches due to a visit

from ye old flu bug...

The surgery was to last about and hour and fifteen minutes

however it

 turned out to be three hours and fifteen minutes.

~

After surgery 

The surgeons first words to me were,

"your husband has a very high pain tolerance, his was the worst I have

ever seen and I've been doing this a long time".

Let' jump ahead two weeks.

~

After weeks of him sleeping in the recliner, (they recommend it)

and really, very little sleep was to be had,

at last he has had three nights in an actual bed,

the guest bed.

(No we haven't gone all Desi and Lucy, it's just his odds (and therefore mine) of

getting a good nights sleep are much better.)

Sleep, something lacking in both our lives in the last two weeks..

He had his post op appointment Wednesday.

Took new x-rays with him to see how it looked thus far.

Stitches removed...

Jump to the bad news.

~

The screws have worked themselves out!

A second surgery now needed is scheduled for the twentieth...

As if it's not lousy enough there is a second surgery,

 lets let him think about it for a couple weeks :-( 

Surgeon speaks, " I have never had a case where the screws worked

themselves out! "

Thursday the hubstir is shouting for me from the opposite side of the house.

Blood was shooting about a foot and and half out of his "healed" surgical site... 

We applied pressure with a washcloth (folded in fours),

blood continued filling the cloth ?

Paged the surgeon who promptly returned our call.

I explained what had happened, and that we did get it stopped.

Surgeon speaks, " Your husband is a strange case" (I smiled in my head)

" I have never had a patients surgery site start spurting blood".

Friday back to the Doctors so he could take a look.

Needless to say the hubs is a tad bummed out,

very antsy, bored, feels useless, frustrated and the list goes on... 

Though nothing compares to what he has been going through,

can I just speak to the women out there?

Nah,

you know.

It has been a challenge along side him as he faces this mountain he 

has been climbing daily (only to prepare to climb it again).
This is a big challenge for him, on many levels.

On the up side....

Add to the mix

 our sweet little Khloe everyday (thank God)....

Little things like trying to put her shorts on her head...sometimes

they get stuck :-)

or as she would say, " caught". 

She gives cause for many smiles and laughs everyday, for both of us.

Forget the fact she YELLS " Pa" ten thousand times a day 

we are both glad she is here!!

She does his shoulder exercises with him :-) 

She assists him in tending to his tomatoes....

There is much to discover as we go through this long 
time of our lives together....and we are " discovering"!

We are so looking forward to the day

 that we are

looking back at this time

that we got grew through.

Challenges faced every day, 

each of us in a different way,

 for different reasons.

Time with God during this season of life,

priceless.

Much to be learned as we make our way to the next day,

the next two weeks, the next recovery period.

God has brought to my attention early on,

areas that I really need to work on!

All things work together for good :-)

Romans 8:28

And we know that God causes all things to work together 

for good to those who love God, 

to those who are called according to His purpose. 

So, I'm soliciting prayers for his upcoming surgery,

for our daily challenges of working through this time together.

Mostly for Bob to find some peace as he waits, recovers and heals.

It's going to be a long road for him....

~

A desire for peace in the midst of it all,

it's what echos from my heart today. 

Honestly Speaking ~

Yet, speaking in general....

Why is that what isn't done to an others liking is what gets noticed?

What about the rest?

Children draw our complete attention when they do something wrong,

Is the same attention given with all that's right?

We notice the one that volunteers for service of many kinds,

 many serve daily and go unnoticed.

Thanked a Veteran lately?

Many complain about the unfairness in the workplace,

and all that's wrong there.

Why not focus on how lucky you are to have a job?

There are those who complain about their spouses,

how about you focus on the kind of spouse you are?

There are numerous complaints about a lack of money,

yet we continue to spend.

To obtain that which is your greatest desire,

how much are you willing to sacrifice to obtain it?

Some wondering if they will survive the raising of their children,

hey, they take work, they take time.

Nobody said it would be easy....

nothing of real value is.

When will my life change rather than repeating the same problems?

When are you willing to make changes??

It's _________ fault I'm the way I am.

Throw down that crutch and walk!

May I suggest we start focusing on what there is to be grateful for.

Maybe you start behaving like an adult, put away your childish ways.

Maybe you make every day count with the people you love,

this life is not a game.  You won't get to play again.......

 Maybe rather than point the finger at another,

we focus on ourselves and what we need to work on?

This really isn't rocket science....

but it is 

what echos from my heart today :-)

The Good in Being Sick

Is there good in being sick?

Sinus headache, muscle aches, nausea, 

body aches, fever, sore throat, earaches,

good?

That about covers my last seven days.

Well first off, the bad, its the obvious.

Being sick stinks!

You are unable to do the normal routine,

it's hard to just sit or lay when you are generally in some form

of motion.

There is pain involved, real pain....

Ever feel like you've been run over by a truck?

Body aches.

Face hurts, teeth hurt, yes hurt...

really it hurts!

So whats so good about being sick?

 ~

Memories 

Memories of childhood that I've never forgotten.
If ever I'm feeling poorly I am reminded......

Having a really high fever and my Dad arriving home late in the 

evening.

He came into my room to check on me,

only to leave and return with a bowl of orange sections.

Can I tell you to this day I remember the juiciness and coolness 

of every piece?  

The love behind each bite....I was so thankful in that moment.

My sweet  Dad...

I have memories of several years in a row my Mom and I having 

the flu at the same time and me laying in bed with her.....

just being in a parents bed always felt good.

We took care of each other

and it wouldn't be the last time.

I had a great parental experience of my own 

when both my oldest son and myself  had strep throat.

It was a time where drool on

a pillow as opposed to swallowing was acceptable...
I also found 

 he thought I was a good Mom,

why?

Well, one, because I asked him.  I wanted to know.

When he said yes, I asked why he felt that....

Because,

 "I didn't let him talk to me disrespectfully as one of 

his friends did to his Mom ".

It gave me confidence to know I was doing something right with my kids.

I can be the "mean Mom" and they'd still love me :-)

Doing the right thing wasn't easy and  I knew he didn't need a friend

he needed a Mom.

I have always had difficulty in letting others help me out when I'm ill

or just down right need help.

A few years ago I had back surgery.

A few of my sweet friends from church organized meals for me and Bob.

A couple of them knew how I felt about help, however they told me
 it was going to happen!

Besides the wonderful meals that were provided,

I realized just how incredible these friends of mine are.

How truly beautiful the friendship of women can be.

How sometimes its a blessing, to allow others to bless you!

So,

yes, there is good in being sick.

As there is good in being on the mend :-)

Finding the good while in the muck !

It's what echos in my heart today......

Post a Note ~

Stopped a moment to think,

what was I whining about last?

What was the latest,

poor me?

Why does it often take events such

as the devastation in Oklahoma

to get me to stand a little more
at attention daily.

Too take note!

Life is precious,

someone I love could be taken from

me in an instant.
It doesn't always happen to someone else.

I do purpose daily to be 

thankful for what I have.

I do value life, 

mine and the lives of those I love.
It's not enough.
Is it possible to create the habit of
thinking less about the stuff that whirls
around our paths daily
and
more about that which I value,
love and cherish the most?

Tragedy makes us me focus

on what's good.

Tragedy
 takes my mind off the truly

small things

we 
I

complain, wine,
and

worry about.

In the big picture it's those very things, 

they

 really aren't worth the time I give them.

Let's

I'm going to attempt to 

remind myself of those who have lost

someone they loved.

Those who have no home to return to,
I can't imagine the shock of that, and where
do you begin to begin again?

Last night,
they were rewinding the tape.
"What were our last words to each other "?

"Why didn't I ________"?
Trying to remember how it felt to hug them,
trying to remember their scent.
Purposly etching the face of the one no longer,
 in their mind. Must ensure that memory stays fresh.

How painful, yet that's what we I would do.

I've no doubt it's what they were doing, 

as they approached the first of many sleepless nights.

I'm thinking I will post a note to myself,

put it where
  we 
I can see it throughout the day.
It will read, like this......

~

9-11

Oklahoma

Japan

~

I want to etch it in my minds eye,
to ensure I'm always, consciously aware,
that those I love are here for a given time.

Praying for Oklahoma

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

Taking note of what matters, it's what echos from my heart today....

An Open Letter to Mom ~

The fragrant scent of these roses cover me in thoughts of Mom and Dad,

me the child, their child.

These three roses are from the bush Dad bought

and planted for me twenty-six years ago.

I thought it would be a fitting photo in memory of you both.

Do you remember their strong beautiful fragrance?

~

It was Mother's Day last year, your last breath as I held your tiny hand.

365 days and I'm still in a bit of disbelief that your really gone.

How I miss that little hand.

I so thought you would be returning here with me to recover, 

I still shake my head over how it all played out.

God had other plans.

I'm very thankful our last words spoken to each other were,

"I love you".

You adding, " I really do" to yours.

I suppose it's natural to feel it's never enough, 

 wanting the chance to say all that is on ones heart.
 The stuff you think of after the fact.

I know that I wish I'd said more to you,

 knowing it would never have been enough.

I take such comfort that you are in heaven with Dad, 

I can't imagine the joy and peace you now have.

I would never want you to leave that to be with us again,

but I miss you......

I love that I will be with you again,
 on the day God chooses me......

Much to my surprise our little Khloe, 

(whom I'm so glad was a part of your life for 10 months)

reminds me daily that you are still with me. 

I can't tell you how many people tell me how much she reminds them of you :-)  

Many of her expressions, her walk, her smile, her spunk and her love of fun are so you.

She even has your attitude and strong willed personality when she feels it's required :-)

Like you, she too makes friends wherever she goes.

You two would have made quite the pair to say the least!!

She loves me, like you did,

 just as I am.

Having her with me allows me to feel that you are still a part of my everyday.

It helps me more than anyone can imagine.

~

I remember a conversation with you when I was a young teen,

 asking you how long it took you to get over the pain of losing Grandma. 

Your response,

" not a day goes by that I don't think of my Mom and wish she were here". 

I have replayed that conversation so many times in the last year.

~

The family reunion is this summer in Montana, 

I just can't begin to imagine you not being there.

I find my heart clinging to Aunt Wilma and Aunt Marguerite, 

the last of Grandma's (Goldie Herndon's) children.

What  an incrediable family you, and therefore I, were born into.

I count myself as very, very lucky..

 very thankful God chose me to be a part of it.

Few people can say they were a part of such a family.

We were all for sure blessed!

I carry you and Dad in my heart always.

Often closing my eyes remembering life with
 you both
here with us,

wishing it to be real.

It seems as though this longing for you will never end.

~

You gave me life, you were the Mom,

my Mom.

****************************************************

Mom, 

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish you were here.

I love you so, I really do..... 

~

You will echo from my heart everyday .

Sweet Friends ~

Just a note to thank my sweet friends for checking in on me :-)  You have touched my heart in a big way.
Life has gotten too busy and I'm hoping to rectify that very soon.  Hope to be back to blogging by May!
Miss all of you and boy do I have some catching up to do!!!

I pray all is well with you and yours.....

Much love,

debi