Friday, September 20, 2013

Consequences of False Securities ~

Consequences they stem from our choices,
are a part of life.

In our youth we believe to some degree we are invincible.
We can drive fast, while talking to our friends
knowing with almost certainty 
accidents only happen to someone else.
Not me.

We can give our trust to a total stranger, 
knowing with almost certainty
bad things happen to other girls.
Not me.

There is a choice of intimacy or not,
 and therefore
the risk of pregnancy....
It'll never happen to me...

Alcohol usage,
I would never be the drunk driver.
I would never end up an alcoholic.
I would never end up with liver damage. 
It would never cost me my job or family.
Those things happen to those without self control...
Not me.

Drug use.
It won't lead to stronger stuff.
I'm smarter than that.
Weak people end up addicts....
other people, not me....

Cigarette smoking.
Lots of people end up with lung cancer.
It won't happen to me, I'll quit first.
Emphysema, that happens to old people who
smoked their entire lives....

Oh, the lies we will tell ourselves in order to do whatever
 it is we want do...
Interesting that we can convince ourselves that whatever that
negative consequence is, it won't happen to us.
Where does that false security come from?
Why wouldn't it happen to me?

A form of Russian roulette,
 dodging that bullet
for the better part of life,
or so you thought.

 So, it was in 2000 that I was finding myself a little short of breath.
Test results determined very early stages of emphysema.
(well that can't be right....)
Stupid or what?
I take the inhaler and a month later feel fine.
I  put it out of my mind...(I don't know how)
Very early = hardly any, very little, no big deal?
It won't get me....

I continued to smoke until Dec.6th of 2007.
The only thing my sweet Dad ever asked of me, was that I quit smoking. 
He asked me many times.
I finally decided that this man who had given me much,
never asking a thing in return....had but one request of his
child.....I quit.

I chose Dec. 6th, 2007 because it was his birthday.
I knew it would be a great gift to him.
I also knew, I could never take that  gift back from him..
I would never start again.

My Dad died in June of 2008 so he never knew I made it a year.
 I did know it made him very happy that I quit.
Now,  I'm going on six years.

In late 2011 I developed a cold,
the same one everyone else had.
It turned into a cough that was lasting
many people a month or so.
My chest began to feel as though someone where sitting on it.
The cough continued...

My Mom was concerned, she kept telling me I needed to get it checked out.
I would, once Mom is feeling better, once her surgery is over.
Once I wasn't afraid to hear bad news....
I went to the Doctor a couple months after Mom died.
Emphysema stage 3 of 4.
How is this possible, me?
That doesn't happen to me!

Days later I recalled the appointment in 2000, I had somehow
found a way to put it completely out of my mind.
It's been eleven years.
I'm sure that sounds crazy to you, but
the fact remains, I put it out of my mind.
 It was never real to me until 2011
It was Me, it had happened to me,
not somebody else.

It's happened to me.
Not someone else,

I'm stressing this in hopes that whatever it is you may think
your going to avoid because it "happens to someone else"
think again.

I so regret that I foolishly continued to smoke after the
appointment in 2000.
Really, who was I kidding that this would never happen to me?
What would cause me to believe such a thing?

I'm 57 years old.
I'm on three inhalers and two medications.
If I catch the common cold or flu,
its a big deal.

I can no longer enjoy a campfire with my friends or family.
I can no longer burn wood in my fireplace.
I can no longer be outdoors while a barbeque is burning.
I can no longer burn scented candles.

The commercials you see for COPD
 (emphysema is one of its many forms)
are very accurate.
 It really does feel as though an elephant is sitting on your chest, making it
very difficult to move air in and out of your lungs.

It will never get better.
It will only get worse.
There is no cure.

From, it won't happen to me,
it happened to me.

I'm sorry for my children who always wanted me to quit.

It happened to me.

So now,
it's why I treasure each day in this life.
It's why being around my family is more important than ever.
It's why I can't get enough time in with my grand children,
 it's never going to be enough. :-)
It's why I hang on a little girl's every word, every time I'm with her.
It's why I want to make memories every chance I get.

It may sound odd but,
my life is fuller now.
Those around me are recognized at their full value.
The good in each is clearer than before.
I want to make each day count...
The number of blessings in my life are through the roof!
Very possible they were there prior and somehow had gone unnoticed.
This is the new

None of us know how long we will be here.
We just need to be aware, it could be "me".
If we really lived our lives as though each day could be our last,
how much more joy we would get out of it and those around us?
Few blessings go unnoticed,

imagine ~

I've decided to share about my health for a couple reasons.
First and foremost, the more people I have praying the better.
I do believe in miracles, all the while knowing that may not be God's plan for me.

Second, I'm hopeful someone will read this that thinks "it" won't happen to them.

I write because it's a form of expression that works best for me.
If I want to be truthful about all that, echos from my heart,
and it's through my own words I process my thoughts,
well, to do so I needed to fill you in.

I debated for sometime rather to share this or not.
It's a part of my life now,
therefore will be a part of what and why I write on a given topic.

Though I appreciate prayers,
it's my consequence,
   I intend on making the very best of own beauty for ashes story.

Isaiah 61:3 bestow on them
 a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
 the oil of joy instead of mourning, 
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
 They will be called oaks of righteousness,
 a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
Thankful for my ability to write my simple little blog.
Thankful for
 the readers eyes who may relate from time to time.

Thankful  I know for certain,
whatever "it" could happen to me.

It's a daily process this consequence of mine...
I won't kid you, sometimes it's hard.
 I'm just so thankful, for so much!!!

A new season of life is what echos from my heart today....


  1. I applaud your honesty. Very true how somehow as we are younger we feel that we are almost invincible. Strange isn't it? In my sixties now, after two rounds of cancer battles I am not feeling that same that I somehow will escape.

    I wish you the best and will keep you in my prayers.

    1. Praying for you as well :-)
      Thanks for your kind words.

  2. Debi
    Thank you for sharing your heart and being honest about your condition. I know it wasn't easy for you.
    Isaiah 61:3 is such a dear verse and the Lord has made it really come to life for you, I can tell. I believe the Lord can work this illness for the good in your life. Your greater appreciation just shines through already.
    I will remember you in my prayers.

  3. What echoes from your heart today can't help but speak to those who come hear. A powerful message. Thanks for sharing! You are so right in saying we never think it will happen to us. Blessings to you as you cope day to day with your illness...and live life to the fullest and for His honour and glory.

  4. I too thank you for your honesty today. I debate sometimes about how much I should share too, and yet I honestly believe and pray that this post will touch the hearts of the right people and be put to wonderful use. I could on and on about the things I too was sure would NEVER happen to me, and yet they did, starting with being pregnant at 17. A breast cancer diagnose came at 55, and who knows what all still looms ahead. And yet! Just as you mentioned, the blessings too come as well. There are a few of those I wondered if they would ever happen to me either, and they have! A wonderful husband, 4 fantastic children, and 11 sweet grandkids. Yes, God's goodness is just everywhere. I struggle with a full list of medical issues myself and I honestly do know the frustration you feel and the need to make every moment count. I will pray for you as you cope with this, and believe truly He will work it all for your ultimate good! Blessings and hugs!

  5. Debi, you have no idea how I needed this tonight. I'm sorry for what you're going through but so thankful that you enjoy every blessing that comes your way.

    Love you, and appreciate all of your posts. Thankful you can share through your writings. I'm always feeling blessed when I leave.


  6. Oh, Debi, I am so sorry about this, even though it was your ultimate choices that led to it. Wow, that's tough and what a testimony to all of us. We just never seem to grasp that our decisions today affect our tomorrows. May you be blessed as you journey forth and I will certainly be praying for you. I always love what "echos from your heart!"

  7. debi,
    How dear and courageous of you to share your pain and your blessings with us all. I know how hard it was to quit as I watched you tackle that challenge again and again. I am thankful you succeeded in 2007 and will pray for your continued strength and joy in life. Thank you as well for your full message of warning and the call to glorify God in your life. He is good! Always! Bless you, Sister; the one who prayed for my salvation.....and won! DeeDee

  8. Oh, I ignored my doctor's advice on smoking for several years did my husband. Thank you for sharing. Although it has been many years now since we smoked, we know there are consequences. Praying for you!!!