Trading Bitter for Better

If given the choice of being bitter or better, I choose better.

In the Bible Saul became David's constant enemy due to jealousy. Dealing with the situation was a test of David's faith as it can be with us. Joseph had brothers that hated him out of jealousy, and in the end he was rewarded for doing what was right regardless of the pain his brothers caused him.

If someone is bitter, jealous or hurtful toward us we will likely ask God why he doesn't do something about it!

What I have experienced is there are times when God is more interested in doing something in us, rather than for us. If God can't do a work in us how could He ever do any work through us? There is also the occasion God will give us what we think we want just to prove to us its not really what we want...you know, the old be careful what you wish for!

Being jealous of what someone else has is not trusting God that He has a plan for you.. When you see that others are jealous of what you have, be reminded they aren't really jealous that you have it, they are angry that they don't. They often even choose to be jealous of what one has, yet they don't want to do what you had to do to get it!

How we respond to bitter people is what matters. Our response to them is what shows our true character. Sometimes all we can do is pray for them and know that often, hurting people hurt people. When we aren't walking in love towards others we are providing an opportunity for more wrong and bitterness to enter in our own lives.

I was in a place where I had to make a choice, I could be bitter for the hurt someone has caused me or I can be better, and forgive them. I chose to be better, I let go of what lay behind with the knowledge that God is my vindicator. By holding on to the enormous hurt and anger we eventually wake up and realize all we have been doing is drinking the poison waiting for the other person to die...that poison is unforgiveness, bitterness and anger.

Choosing to be better meant, seeking understanding in the situation (still), learning to have a merciful attitude toward the offender and praying for them. I choose to plant a seed of a better not bitter attitude for my children and grandchildren to carry on. If I can't teach my children the importance of forgiveness, the importance of how we treat and react to others, then I have failed them greatly.

God has forgiven us...Its important to understand that if you can't forgive others He can't forgive you! Choose better, not bitter. This is what echo's from my heart today.

Into Africa

My hubby Bob is preparing for a trip to Africa with our church...Excitement is increasing as the day nears. The group of 12 will leave April 5th at 6:26 A.M. out of San Diego arriving in Dakar 5:35 A.M.. From Dakar they will travel approximately 3 hours to Senegal where our Church has adopted three Villages.

The 12 of them will enter into an very different way of living from what we here in the U.S are accustomed to. The very remote villages they will be visiting have no running water, if they are lucky enough they have a well....one the team has been told not to drink from as the water is far from treated or purified in any way. Matt, our Church missionary that lives in Senegal has informed the team, a "toilet" will be built for their use while there, noting, it will need to be emptied frequently. Upon hearing this, I suggested maybe Bob should be the one to do so since he has invested all those hours in the gym working on those biceps :-)

Matt made the trip here to prepare the team as to what they will be facing and what the proper protocol is when addressing these people. Matt, at the team meeting at our house suggested some role playing as a great way to learn. Matt played the role of Chief of the village and I was asked to play one of his wives. I was told the women are very submissive which, if you know me required an academy award winning performance! Long story short the team is always to address the chief first then the women can be addressed with the chief's permission initially, yet I'm told they remain fairly quite...again a stretch for me....

I was told by one of the team members that my master bathroom is larger than the huts that these families live in. The floors, well, they are dirt....and seating is limited. As I look around my well furnished home I feel as though I have too much, and I likely do. When I stated how bad I felt for them I was told these villagers live each day as a very joyful people.....I was struck by it. To be that joyful with not so much as an actual floor, running water, or toilet to name a few of the things most of us take for granted? I think I need to rethink why it is so many of us feel we need more, better, the newer version, the latest fad....is that what we think brings us joy? It makes life easier...or does it? To be without and live joyful daily despite having "the stuff"....something is to be said about these people that do not live in the modern, technology filled world.

For me, joy comes from my relationship with God and knowing who I am in Him, and that should truly be enough. I admit I don't always feel that way. I sometimes have the thoughts, if we just had this, or if money weren't an issue, if I just this, or just that..we live in as state of "if only". Logically I know God is enough yet I live in a world that has come to believe that it's through all this stuff we may find our joy. I remind myself daily God is enough and he has a plan for my life that may or may not include any stuff!

These joyful people are Muslim and do not know a God such as mine, yet they live joyfully. These are not Muslim as in praying several times a day, facing a certain direction kinda Muslims we have become familiar with....these Muslim people believe in witchcraft and worship trees! I know how much more joy they would feel if they new the one true God, which is just what our team is hoping for. To get to know these people, form relationships with them, find out how our team can help them...what exactly are their greatest needs such as clean water,medicine,planting crops etc., and ultimately sharing God's love and promises with them.

I know this trip for Bob will be life changing and I can't wait to hear about his experience. It feels good to know we play a small part in assisting these joyful people who otherwise may not receive any form of help.

Bob mentioned he would bring me a souvenir, what I really want is to know the secret they hold that keeps all of the colors of their clothes so vibrant? Have you ever noticed how white the whites are and how bright the fabric of their clothes are? No washer, dryer or Spray and Wash...I am so curious. (But then again I love doing laundry) :-)

Joyfully anticipating all Bob will learn on this adventure and how it will change our lives....

Its a reminder we come from a God who chose us and we are perfect and blameless in His eyes. He wants us to have peace and JOY....fear, confusion and worry are not from Him. Have Joy... This is what echos from my heart today.....

Down hill since the Bookmobile....

I was listening to a program about a week ago and the topic was this new Kindle. The latest gadget that one can download a ba-zillion books onto....this was kinda bothersome to me.

Let's start with I love books, I collect them, I read them and some I treasure. The first book I remember reading (not counting See Spot Run kinda thing) was in the second grade at Franklin Elementary School. I was proud to have a library card and couldn't wait to use it. I don't know why I chose "Stewart Little" by E.B. White, but I did and I loved it! Charlotte's Web, my second!

A couple years later the "Bookmobile" started coming to our school at a scheduled date and time. This to me was so cool, a library on wheels? It was a big empty bus or motor home I don't recall which, with it's sides lined with floor to ceiling bookshelves! Eventually I think around the 5th grade, for reasons unknown to me the Bookmobile quit coming to our school. I don't recall reading a book for enjoyment after that until my Senior year of High School.

That first book I read was "The Kennedy Curse". I had/have a fascination with the Kennedy family so it was a great, though sad read. Fast forward to age twenty-five, that would be the next time I would read for enjoyment. I received an insert to my TV Guide....the only book ever in my hands back then....the insert was an ad to sign up for the Literary Guild book club. One of those offers where you received the first seven books for pennies with the agreement to purchase four more books in the following year. Seemed easy enough. Here is the truth as to why I signed up, I thought I would appear more mature if I had books on display, especially if I had read them!

How to choose seven books? I don't know of any authors by name. I know, I would pick the book by the title or the picture on the cover, problem solved. Kinda like picking a jockey by the color of his jersey, his horse's name or picking a football team by the Quarterback's butt....yes, it's how I became a Niner fan...I digress...

I have to tell you I loved everyone of those seven books and was hooked again as a reader. One of the seven was a Stephen King book so he became my favorite author. I felt so mature name dropping an author's name, let a lone the title of a book :-)
The Thorn Birds took me over the top as far as my love for reading....it was the book that took me into prescription glasses by the time I finished.

Flash forward to 1999, avid Oprah watcher at the time (no more). I was always telling the gals at work about her book club selection. One of the gals thought it would be great to have our own book club, so the Gal Pal book club meetings began to meet every other month. I suggested Tuesday with Morrie as their first read. Wait a minute, "their" first read? Yep, I was in love and wanted to spend all my free time with my man. Wouldn't even consider one night out of sixty away! About five or six months later, I joined....same man....just needed a night away with the gals :-0.

The Gal Pals book club has now been together for eleven years. The same 14 or so gals, with an ongoing rule, we take on no new gals. Of the 14 of us only two remain working at that company. We, review books pizza and wine, and have formed a bond of friendship that is so awesome it is beyond words.

My first book related injury was when the "Left Behind" series came out. I spent a weekend sitting on the floor by my fireplace and read three of those books. Thus creating the cyst on my tailbone that was so painful I still have a sore tailbone some eleven years later! Those were some great books, I took the bullet for the marathon read.

Every other Friday I can be found at the local Barnes and Noble bookstore. I purchase a Starbucks coffee which is within the store itself, and I begin my time walking up and down the isles looking at book covers, reading the reviews on their jackets, right down to looking at the picture of the author, where he or she lives and how many children or pets they have. No explanation for that... This is my walk on the beach, my hour massage, my cup of tea by the roaring fire.....just let me in a book store!

Now, back to these Kindle things. Why??? I saw someone on the train reading a book on one and I made a mental note, it was the same size as an average size book. As I looked at it I thought, but you can't feel the book, you can't look or feel the nice book jacket. No more opening the book to look at the paper its printed on, smooth edges or jagged recycled paper? What do you do with all those book markers you have purchased through the years?

Libraries may become a thing of the past and I shiver at the thought my bookstores may become a thing of the past? Is it not enough you can get books on tape, now you can buy them online, what is happening here ?

I ran in to my "love her to bits" girlfriend Melissa at Barnes and Noble today. The instant I saw her my first thought was, and the first thing out of my mouth....."I have a zit above my lip". Here's why I love her. Melissa quickly replied, "ya well you have no makeup on and braces too" as we exchanged hugs. I briefly discussed my feelings on the Kendall's, in fact she had to tell me what they were called. She listened to me go on, like she always has, another reason I love her. I have to admit at one point I thought she looked at me as though my head zipped up the back!

At that point I ended my share time with, "Kendall's will end up in landfills, books will not! We give books away, we donate them", heck we even take them to consignment stores to make money to buy the new ones. I shared with Melissa that I was going to blog about this and "oh, by the way have you read my blog"? "No", she replied....I still love her. I told her I would even mention my meeting with her in it. She suggested I use a pseudo name, I believe it was Martha she wanted me to use. Come on, Martha? I told her she could be anonymous in a future story.

My fellow friends, don't stop reading books....I mean the real books. Why must everything change, can't we continue to be happy with bound books, holding them in our hands,getting sun screen on the cover, spilling drinks on them, gazing at the Jacket? I will be part of a protest if need be.

By the way, I check out my books to my friends, but I never allow them to take the book jacket with them, ever! They look so nice in my bookcases........

As a side note, I am more mature now, though not because of any given book.. I married the man I leave at home every other month for book club and if I ever give Melissa (far right in the photo) a pseudo name in a future blog, it's gonna be Martha, take note of that.

This is what echos from my heart today!

A Child is Born

The other day I was out to breakfast with my husband. As I sit across from him I notice a Grandmother holding a fairly new baby, "a boy" she says as she looks a me, "he's a month old". I watch the new Mother look across the table into the eyes of her baby boy and I try and remember...how I felt when my first was new, what did I think as I looked into his tiny little eyes.
I know I couldn't imagine that I could love as much and as big as I did this little baby that I had only known a short time. I was relieved he was healthy, I knew the joy he brought his Father and I as well as our families. He was the new big thing, the topic of every conversation, the reason to own a camera! I recall the excitement I felt to pick him up everyday, to kiss him at every opportunity, to hold him close and cause him to feel safe and secure.
As I looked at this young Mother and at her tiny son my thoughts went to what she is yet to learn about being a Mom. I think of the panic she will experience when his fever is 105 and she is waiting for it to be their turn in the emergency room. What she doesn't know is how hard it is to walk away from him that first day of school. She has no idea how her heart will melt with every treasure he brings home from school as he, full of pride tells her, "I made it just for you Mommy".
This new Mom doesn't know the pain she will feel when he isn't picked for the basketball team and all of his friends were. She doesn't think about the fact that one day a girl will break his heart and it will break his Mother's as well. She hasn't yet worried when he drives off without her in the car the first time,and think, will he make it home safe?...every time.. he leaves the house. This Mother will worry when she hears a siren and her son is five minutes late.
 I hope she will experience what it means for her son, regardless of his age, that he never hesitated to hug her in public :-)
This new Mother has yet to experience the pride in him when she sees him wearing a cap and gown. This Mother can't imagine her child could ever hurt her feelings and that generally when he does, she won't say a word.
What she doesn't know is how happy she will be when he marries the love of his life. What she doesn't know is how different it feels to be the Mother in Law and no longer just his Mom. This new Mother can't know is the joy that one day, she will be waiting for her son and his wife's baby to make her a Grandmother. A new baby she can hold and love, all the while knowing just how fast this baby will grow...she will think back and wish she had taken more time just being a mom herself. She will look at her son and his wife and she will know what lies ahead for them as parents.
This new Mother will one day have a greater respect for the love and happiness her own parents brought her. The sacrifices made for her, the pain they felt when she felt pain. She will then understand why her parents worried when she was late........and how they never stopped regardless of age.
I shared this with my husband and his first response was, "imagine what Mary would have felt had she known the purpose of her Son's birth, that He would one day die on a cross for the sins of the world".
I guess when A Child is Born we never really know what to expect beyond the next picture we take in yet another new outfit!

This is what Echo's from My Heart today.......

 

A Space to Fill

Since my Father went to be with the Lord I have an ever present feeling that there is such a large empty space in me. I have the promise I will see him again yet the space remains. My Father is the one I could turn to on most any issue in my life. I still speak to him in my thoughts and from time to time, I realize I'm speaking out loud. I occasionally pick up the phone to call him and realize that I can't.

I am learning to turn to God first, my heavenly Father. I have never actually touched Him but I can tell you I have felt His touch. It is He that will get me through this life and I am aware, only He is able to fill this empty space. It's a process that becomes more and more natural, to turn to God and not my Dad. When a painful or difficult event arises I still feel that it would be more bearable if my Father were here with me. The fact is my Father, God, is always with me and He will carry me through every difficulty that arises. He will take the emptiness and fill it with a Father's love, His.

I don't think I will ever stop missing my Dad, he really was the biggest part of me. But I know my God is bigger than anything I will come across in this world. I am learning that turning to Him is where I will find the love and comfort of my Father. Heavenly and otherwise.

This is what echos from my heart today.....