I am Far from Close

Yesterday in Church one of the songs that we sang had lyrics that said, I spend my life to know, and I'm far from close, to all that You are. Then the book of Habakkuk was mentioned, specifically chapter three. It speaks of a man in some very difficult circumstances. Circumstances such as crop failure, and the death of animals to the extent it would devastate  his homeland of Judah. Even in this terrible time of starvation and loss, Habakkuk managed to rejoice in the Lord.  Regardless of his circumstances he manages to not allow those circumstances to determine his happiness.

As with Habakkuk, God gives us strength when it appears we can no longer handle bad circumstances in our lives, when it seems we can't possibly take anymore.  The lesson is, we are to take our minds off what is happening around us and to look to Him.  Our confidence if put in Him, is how we get through it, we can be confident in Him.

Our lack of control in certain situations is best dealt with by acknowledging that God is in control, always.  We may not always understand the why and why not, but in all the craziness in the world right now, I am reminded to look up not out.

Though the fig tree does not bud 

and there are no grapes on the vines, 

though the olive crop fails 

and the fields produce no food, 

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls, 

yet I will rejoice in the Lord, 

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

                                                                        Habakkuk 3: 17, 18 

This little lesson, I needed to hear! His timing is always so perfect.  This last week has brought with it some difficult circumstances and I am sad to say I had been attempting to fix them,worry about them and I was asking, why is this happening?  I was thinking,  I don't need all of this to deal with at one time. I was full of worry and fear. My focus on me and how I was feeling about it all.  I had even compiled that list in my mind of all the negative possibilities that will or could come out of it all.  Last night I was feeling so overwhelmed by it all, and I was so disappointed in my response to it ! I wasn't trusting God, I was trying to do what so many of us do....control "it" !

What I heard yesterday is yet another example of God's timing and another reminder that nothing happens is by chance. I was also reminded that He's in control, NOT me.  All my worry, fear and frustration for nothing, when I have a great big God that is in control who already knows the outcome.  I am not capable of changing that outcome, I am not able (she is saying out loud as if to make it stick).

A close friend of ours is having the majority of his lung removed on Tuesday after being diagnosed with lung cancer.  I was informed another friend will receive results soon regarding a spot found on her lung. I was told by my Mother (78), that she has decided to relocate to a town she isn't familiar with, away from some great Doctors and the history they have made with her.  Away from those of us that have been  caring for her when she's been sick, transporting her to visit family and friends, and going to Dr. appointments in order to be that important second set of ears, for the last three years.  Her mind is made up and we can only hope for the best as she attempts to make it on her own and it will no doubt be a learning experience....for many. Just so many what if's were going through my head.

My heart broke this week for my sweet, sweet friend whose sister of 57 years has made the decision to no longer be a part of her life, over a croquet set?? It's a very hard pill to swallow when you share a  life of ups and downs for so long with a sibling and they choose to end the relationship.  For the one being left behind, its impossible to wrap your brain around the fact that anyone could actually make such a choice about their own flesh and blood. Obviously this isn't about a croquet set...likely some deeper issues she isn't yet willing to acknowledge, let alone deal with.  Not exactly a decision a happy person would make, and at the same time a decision that will affect her entire extended family. As a parent I can't think of a more heart breaking occurrence to have happen between my children. My heart is sad for her sweet elderly Mom, that suddenly one of her own has made such a selfish decision with no regard for the hearts of all involved.

So, all of the above, out of my control and in the hands of the One who is. I am thankful that this morning I was reminded of that. I heard yesterday morning, just like Habakkuk, in the midst of these trials I should simply anticipate His next move.

I am far from close, to all that He is and all He can do.

With these circumstances I can rejoice in God my Savior.

In the midst of these circumstances I will look up and not out!

This is what echo's from my heart today.....